WeLcOmE tO mY LiFe

helloo Look Here, I'm Back : )

2007-01-09T11:14:00.000+08:00

man, these last few weeks are getting a bit stressful and i should have taken another month off from work.

having some tight schedule.

10th Jan, a talk on FTTP, some electronic conductor thing which i have no clue about as it's for another course.

13-16th of Jan, 9-5pm RP open house. Involved in it, i'm lookin forward to it though.

17th Jan, leaving to PTP, a transportation port, just like PSA, either in malaysia, indonesia, batam i also dunno.

these are confirmed so need to get my ass there for all these important dates.
still have somemore to go.

think i need 2 more extra points from God knows where, and its difficult to see where i am still lackin. just sent an email to a lecturer whom i know. he should know better.

after these or arnd these time, got report presentation. one of the 3 most important ones for students in RP.
need to prepare for these cos its more than formal. need artwork, presentation materials, and i need help, so if anyone can help, pls let me know. i will appreciate it.

all these plus the nvr ending fyp. 7th feb, fyp presentation in the RP exhibition hall. where all students and staff from year 1 to 3 come and play arnd with our work and learn more for themselves. another day i'm looking forward to.

all these in a 5 day school week plus work.
currently waiting for presentation date for PP report presentation, then can start preparing for it.

man, the last few weeks of poly life is one heck of a journey. goona be interesting.
ok he just replied me saying:

My dear Charles,

Can you do a sum of A+B+C+D?

What do you get?

haha.

anyhow i ask for prayers to help me thru these times. its not only me, but for the year 3 students all arnd the other polys.
may the force be with us.

all the best year 3 students. its in our sights.
from now till then, a hectic, stressful, heavy and busy commitment beckons.

i hope all received the msg i sent abt the last day of Christmas. made some addition to it, felt that it was very meaningful and something useful.

Jill, got ur msg. i'll be updating ur blog addie aft this, thanks for letting me know.

oh yea i wanna propose a debate.

the pros and cons of saying "thank you"

you can put ur comments on ur blogs. let me know i'll go have a look : )
i gave away work today so i have sometime for myself to run.

yesterday's run was good with Shabin. we did it, abt 6 km in all. best part, none of us felt so tired as to want to give up. determination was there.

btw Shabin, i want to thank you for crunches technique. i tried it last night and boy was it good. thanks. i've adopted it as my crunches workout.

oh shit, i just rememberd.
ARMY MEDICAL CHECKUP on the 15th i think.

brb goona go check.
its on the 25th on Jan.
haha quite exciting considering this is the first step to the big one, ns enlistment = )

i have a strong feeling i'll get into police, cos of my npcc history back in secondary skool.
police, navy or air force will be my preferred options.

and yes a silver before i go in. very important.

alrite, im gonna crash for awhile. Shabin i'm coming over later for the pictures. thanks

fabulous song

2006-11-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

my God, this is one fab song with fab lyrics, fab rhythm, taste..

...

2006-11-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

oh come on! i had a slight injury today after runnin..its been a week since i last ran and i don't remember hurtin it..my upper left thigh is now strained..

gosh.. now my right calf is hurting too..think its bcos ive not been exercising the past weekk..

alrite to everyone, pls dun try to call or sms my hp as its suspended..i didnt pay bills so got to wait till i get it back..but im coping well without it..so call my hse if anythin..chances are i wont be at hme cos of work, skool, fyp, etc etc..

neway to contact me, tag me on my blog or email me or call my hse..

alrite thats abt it..its been a gd few day..thanks to all who prayed for me..i appreciate it tons.

i need to find a day when im free so as to do my new blog and all..i got the addie, but will publish it once its done and up and running..im gonng eat now..then play a game or watch the covenant or just sleep..i need them much..

alrite, gdnite to all..
peace out!

...

2006-11-24T10:11:00.000+08:00

alrite word's out..

ive gotten myself a new blog..goona customize it before i switch over.pretty interesting..

im in class, yawning..

been workin for the past 2 nights, working later and tmr..by the time it comes to sunday, i'll be pretty tired..work gets tiring from the 3rd consecutive day onwards. moreover today is the 3rd day, and its friday..which makes it worse..anyhow i'll pull thru as always..

how are all of u doing..
a little tight with fyp always being a real pain in the ass..

the figures are so many..haha
but thats what i like, i like it when the going gets tough..good learnin period..

hols in 2 weeks..fyp and pp is goona take most of my time..
hopefully ce points can be completed too..

grad is coming..its real fast..i got just 6 weeks of lessons left..
mixed feelings..
i learnt a lot during my rp days..tot me a number of things..

SSDD

2006-10-10T00:43:00.000+08:00

man i like my new blogskin..think its pretty cool and dull, old kind but yet blessed with a touch of awe and modern.

okay dunno what the hell im talking abt..
Sheila's bdae outing was fun, for once cooking turned out right and well, not burned and uncooked...

ever wonder sometimes the world just seems to look at you with one sort of face and the vibes that can be gotten from them are not positive?

i seem to be getting them...even my own associates. the smile they give, can be just so plastic i just choose to go away instead of staying there and making you to come up with the plastic smile. its even stranger when some just forget all that you have done for them, and bounce at the chance of tagging with someone else, and forgetting the others. the oldies i call it.

i never demand or ask for anything in return. sometimes even when i ask, it seems sucha chore to you, by the way you sound and the expression you give me...i wonder why..why so?

in all the times you needed me...have i ever let you or anyone down? have i ever said no to something? have i ever said no when you needed something even at my own expense? thats what sacrifice means isnt it?

God has blessed me with a heart..maybe i turned too soft..but i will never change it for anything else. its the best part of me..even stranger when i write this, i know who are the ones who are going to doubt what im writing.

i seem to have lost maybe 2 friendships. they both forgot everythin...i try to make it better, practically not possible now that ur so happy with new happenings. good for you..not at all upset with that.

its hard for me to understand why is it that you sometimes just dont know ur limits..how you just rant and rant..its so unbecoming of you as person..im begining to solidify a few new relationships in skool and 2 more in church..

how i want to write so much more over here, so much i want to write. but the audience reading this..how many throughly understand..how many have come up asking if im ok..sometimes im at mass..i wait aft mass to pray..spend so much time in there, no one takes note of it..cept for my closest confidant in the group..

when i come out, all i see is everyone being happy talking to each other and so much more happenings..one lesson i have learnt oveer these years, is that dont expect anyone to do any favour, especially when i need it, but instead always be there for anyone, anytime, anywhere. and im glad to say i have fulfilled that before, fulfillin now, and will always fufill it in the future. ive done all i can as a friend and im going to continue doing that..

never wanted to say this and the other things i keep in me..only willing and able to tell this to just one or at most 2.the ones i trust the most.

on a brighter note, im having fun at skool..having fun with my lecturers, especially one Dr. she's just so nice and caring to me..and she makes fun of me..

stop remembering me for the wrong reasons. i nvr did that to you...why do you keep talking abt me and this to others..i know whats happening..the best part is that you dont know i know cos u think ur safe in telling others..but ur not..

gd day..bye..

bloggin on a prayer..

2006-09-25T13:40:00.000+08:00

i miss you Father..

let it all come back..bring it all back..

Father, will the old days ever return...i cant help wondering abt it, let my blogging be a prayer like prayer..i miss you..i miss you even more when a close trusted friend reminds me of you...you know who she is, bless her for all's she's doing for me..i miss the times of highness in my spiritual life..i dunno how it got all downhill..its geting even harder to revive it..probably its time i try another way to reach out..i know what im capable of and just bring me to youu.. let me feel you like i used to..bring me to the times where i was so lifted beyond all understanding, times where i was so moved, moved to be who i am and who i wanna be, moved to serve you in a ministry where i can totally do that, for you, for anyone. my heart is the best part you have given me..

God...

the final bait..

2006-09-25T13:33:00.000+08:00

Yes its good to be back and im so glad im back to blogging days. Always had a strong feelings towards Britain, and its definitely got to do with my line of ancestors from there and having its blood flowing in my veins. Thank you movie, it was really good watching you and you sure thought me a whole lot of things. I am goona try to trace my relatives there, my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc…

Goona be pretty tough but if I can get hold of at least one cousin, im sure goona be soo glad that I couldn’t ask for more. Michelle if that’s ur name, I’ve seeen ur wedding pictures and its good to know I have u as my blood cousin from my dad’s side. U have a brother too..man how am I to get it touch with u both? And u guys are Texans. Not a chance u will see this. Hopefully one day, I’ll get the chance to see and talk to you both.

I spoke to ur mom and dad though a few months back when aunt myra was in hospital. Got to see only ur pictures.

Why am I sayin all these..not that u guys gonna read them anyways.

Im sure one day, it will happen = ) im goona start searching. I will dig up history to re foster our family ties. Ties that mean to muchhh to me…

Its baaackk.Im starting all over once again. Im goona look for you. Im guess im goona start dippin again. Dunno how its goona add up, been out of the league for say 2 years. While those I see are fallin in love and stuff..but I’ve learnt pretty much abt from it.

Dunno if I should go back to it, its absence been quite a big hole to fill up..maybe I should have said yes to some, but what I did, either screwed it up or ignored it..

as I always say, love is a complicated thing…

its hard on one hand to stop loving, but on the other hand, its even tougher to say no to someone who does like you. I was never good at saying sorry to some. Just never. Feeling kinda sucks straight after that..with thoughts like maybe should give a chance, but then again, where is it going to go if i don’t like you?

love is a complicated thing, some will agree and some won’t…

ciao..

ps: hmmm been thinking I write a lot but actually all can be summed up within a paragraph isn’t it..same with all my other entries. Guess just a little long winded..hehehe

oooosaaah...

2006-08-29T02:08:00.000+08:00

guys, everyone if you're reading this pls do this..its proven to be good and relaxing.

say OOOSAAAH

hahas okay here it goes..

OOOSAAAH

its not osah..

its OOOO + SAAAH

trust me, say this slowy it will put a smile on ur face..whether ur upset, angry or happy..
its lame, but it reali does work..those who can guess where this word came from, dinner's on me..
thats a deall.. hahahs, try saying it to urself, u will smile at least after this without a doubt.

oooSAaaAAAhhh
=)
hehehe

back to my little book called: my life story

2006-08-29T01:44:00.000+08:00

yes, finally the make over is quite complete. i've been adorning makeup and trust me, the trip to thailand was simply fabulous.. haha to all those who don't have a clue to what im saying, im talking about the trip i made. hahahs in my previous entry.

its a bit scary to think im a women now..i mean its so different, but i can scream, and do all the things women do. i miss my old self..my manhood has gone down to the dogs. hahas i meant as in im no longer a man anymore after i became a women. hahas kidding.. the whole world will miss me..

I just finished watching this movie titled Click. I can’t help wondering the future. Its hard to fathom, its just so hard to understand. Back ago in the past, to think of the year 2010. would be like Whoa, big stuff, high tech stuff just like in the movies. And its just another 4 years to that.

As it is, things are changing so quickly, and its our genartation that is going to see the most changes. Not much changes took place between the time of our grandparents to the time of our parents. It us who will see the crux of these changes. I was born in 1985, the world was not too advanced, I mean Internet did not even come in yet, if memory serves me well.

Now its 2006 and so many things have changed. Handphones those times, I mean with antaneea, now PDAs, Dopods, etc.

Its good and its crazy as well. I can’t think in 10 years time, it will be 2016, gosh what will the world be? Even in churches, whats goona happen?

I’m unsure as to what it holds, but it sure is something that’s goona take humans to a whole lot more different level as compared to what it is today. Cars are going to be flying, trains too. Guess going to the moon would be simple as strapping on a jet like engine, turning it on, and zooming off to space.

I mean its hard to fathom and its crazy. What about people? What’s goona happen to us..what will become of us..i don’t think what im thinking is far fetched but it certainly is worth thinking. What are yours?

Lauretta, you have my user id and password, you can anytime update my blog okies..hahahs like the last one you did =) good day and all the best for your report. let me know, i can help =)

just one more semester of skool. man im goona do my 2000 word report soon. in a few days.

smoking an affirmation of one's life...

2006-07-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

hey guys.
its been awhile since i last blogged.
much has been happening.
but today,this time i blog with a purpose; a valid reason.

well.ive been wanting to say this for a really long time.
and it took me quite awhile to pluck up my courage as i type this.

well..here goes.
laurie is gorgeous.
she really is.
she is one of da coolest soul ive ever met.
and losing her would be like losing my hair.
this is how much she means to me.

anywayy..i bought deodrant today.
after much persuasion from my stones.
its bout time i invest in shampoos,soaps,deodrants and cologne.
i wanna feel like a real man.
ya know..nice smell and all.
afterall ive been smelling real bad all these while.
my apologies to those noses ive engulfed with my body odour.
it was never my intention.

ohh yeah.
just to let all of u know,ill be away for the next month.
im going to thailand for an op.
yes, a sex change.
its bout time i come face to face with the real me.
no point hiding it and creating this whole facade.
ill only end up suffering and hating myself.
i love him so much ya know.
and this is the only thing i can do to prove my unconditional love for him.
darling,i hope this reassures my feelings for you.
bcoz i LOVE you soooooo much.

no heading

2006-07-06T13:05:00.000+08:00

man as i write this, i can feel the thick brown yummie pile of waste in my stomach. I releasing german gas as well..quite one of a kind haha..

man shit i missed a CE talk today realised it too late and prob no space for me to go for the talk. recalls*

its been a good school week, been coming to school and tmr will complete my first week of completing a school week this semester. I'm goona start revision on my Maths O levels again. the word again is so not appealing to me haha..

after which i got to start on my new scope of my project. shit programming's goona be involved. goona look cool and i'm up for it. One thing about me is that i'm self determined and once im determined to do something or get something, i will find a way to get the job done. thats one thing i like.

been thinking of my past dreams ydae. some of which need to be clarified but dunno who will understand if i say that i feel my organs in my body running, and i'm unable to open my eyes. The dog vision and devil appearance in my dream. it doesn't happen nowadays, but the organ running and eyes unable to open comes anytime. something tells me its goona come soon.

im not afraid or frightened, but i dont understand the meaning of all these.

anyway slacking in class. i went for a Mindef discussion yesterday and stats shows that poly guys are not as fit and ITE and JC guys. and a bronze is not considered a pass. so i need a gold or a silver which is possible, just that i need to get in tune with my health and body. which im so goona do, actually started already. like the lady was saying doing now, i got a year and my body will adjust fine to that so im prepared for NS. and not just one month b4 i enlist, then i start to prepare.

NS is suddenly appealing to me, the strictness, rigours and millitary, haha i dont know why but im kinda looking forward to it. Medical checkup anytime now, confident that i'll get a Pes A or B. cos no allergies, medical records, no broken bones, etc.

im slacking now in class. Btw thanks Venisa for ydae it was meaningful, lively, fun and time well spent =)..good on u mate!

heard the drums are tuned and more toms are added, together with cymbals! also cow bells!! cool!! man i missed it so much, been air drumming all these while. need to get on the read stuff. one of my serious passions and interests. so far all's good need more practise and practise on a drum set, the one in church. it looks and feels so good after the uncle came in.

tmr damn believe this or not, i HAVE TO attend a smoking forum. hahahas have to attend and if i do, my 20 bucks fine will be waived. if i don't, 20 bucks fine plus community service during school hours around the school picking litter. so thats makes it 1st week of attending school this semester.

my grades are improving.

Owner: Edmund Chan', '#F1F1F1', '280');" onmouseout="kill()">Warehousing & Storage
Owner: Nicole Wang', '#F1F1F1', '280');" onmouseout="kill()">Human Factors Engineering
Owner: Soh Lai Seng', '#F1F1F1', '280');" onmouseout="kill()">Project Management
Owner: Chin Siong Sheng', '#F1F1F1', '280');" onmouseout="kill()">Global Logistics Management

my four modules.
so far test grades, 1st test all C+, missed the first test for warehousing and storage so X for that haha. second test all B! yeah!

i wanna get the least of B for my final module grade and at least one A for a module. got my first A for a daily grade something thats within my capabilities, but i ruin it by not coming early, not doing RJ, and simply not doing extra work. tsk tsk.

im so sorry i didnt mean to break it. it was placed in a place where i didnt know it was there. i broke it while stepping on it and its glass. its really burdening me, and u have the right to be upset cos its of sentimental value and its yours. I'm just truly sorry and i didnt do it on purpose. the fact its glass and i broke it by steppping on it with my foot. i mean who will step on glass?

im so sorrry.truly sorry.very sorry. i dont know why it happened, it was dark. not goona look for excuses..sorry

What's Left Of Me - Nick Lachey

2006-06-07T16:40:00.000+08:00

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Yeah...

[Chorus]
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place ive never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man i thought i would be
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from my self until,
You give me a reason for standing still

[Chorus]

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me it's all in my head

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

[Chorus]

I've been dying inside you see
Im going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?

back home

2006-06-07T16:37:00.000+08:00

Don't know what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone
And sometimes I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"
But the water's shallow here and I am full of fear, and empty handed after two long years

Another sunny day in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it

Back home I always thought I wanted so much more, now I'm not too sure
Cause sometimes I miss knowing someone's there for me and feeling free
Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight
And light myself a smoke beneath the dark Atlantic sky

Another sunny day in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it

Everybody here is living life in fear of falling out of line
Tearing lives apart and breaking lots of hearts just to pass the time
And the eyes get red in the back of your head, this place will make you blind
Put it all behind me and I'll be just fine

Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky
Sometimes I wish that it would rain here
And wash away the west coast dreaming from my eyes
There's nothing real for them to see here

Another starry night in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it

presenting...boston

2006-06-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

in the light of the sun, is there anyone?
oh it has begun.
oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must've crossed.

you said:

you don't know me, and you don't even care. (o yea)
well you said: you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains. (o yea)

essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts
across an open field,
when flowers gaze at you, they're not the only ones
who cries when they see you

you said:

you don't know me, and you don't even care. (o yea)
well you said: you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains. (o yea)

she said I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather.
I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain.
o yea!
well I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset.
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice. (o yea)

you don't know me, and you don't even care. (o yea)

Boston
where no one knows my name...
where no one knows my name.
where no one knows my name.

Boston,
where no one knows my name.

.....

2006-05-28T01:29:00.000+08:00

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH

im not angry! im just........its just tttooooo much!!!
God save me, save me.....pleaseeeee!

show me a path, i need it i dont even know when to start or where..
do i just do what i have to do?

..

2006-05-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

ARGH ARGH!!!
=(((

i dont need this now! not now!

going gaga

2006-05-28T01:10:00.000+08:00

man, it feels so different after not blogging for so so long//
anyway i just realised how much and badly i wanted it//

so much!
thanks, if u didnt tell me, i wouldnt have realised how much i wanted it. so so much, i cant take it anymore, i wish i could just go there straightaway..

i kept it to myself..
before that..
a number of things to do..its too much work, i dont even want to think abt it, cos it'll get me stressed..

1) 2000 word report
2) FYP
3) CE points
4) O level maths
5) two semesters left
6) GPA of 3 and above

just these things are like a big bunch of work laid on me..especially maths o level. i just dont understand why i cant seem to pass it, when i've worked and studied for it..
i just need a shoulder..
oh God, did i make a wrong mistake..i sure hope i didnt..
why isit that i cant seem to pass it..i not blaming you or anyone, but i just dont understand when i passed tamil, my worst subject and nvr studied for it. i had an F9 for my mid paper, somehow i had C6 for end paper. i studied like crazy for maths, i got a 7..for the past three years..

its more complicating to know that if i dont clear it, i wont have my diploma..
shit, im lost..
my mind's a blank total blank..too much to do, that i dont even realise the intensity of it, i guess thats the first time..

somebody help me!
all some has to say and do is just push me to do this and that, without realising that im screwed up now..i've told u how busy i am, im working also..
im losing ground on everything..good thing im a guy im able to bear it and cope with it.
God, im going gaga over this. guide me pls. very much please. this is crazy for me. too crazy. its too much work in such a short place. You know it, pls go before me..im going to go bonkas when the hit finally settles in..

in loving memory

2006-03-10T02:39:00.000+08:00

presenting alter bridge - in loving memory
one of the best lyrics

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

Ooo's

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

2006-03-10T01:17:00.000+08:00

my very own.

2006-03-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

check him out

2006-03-10T01:10:00.000+08:00

hahaha check out Venisa's hair hehe

2006-03-10T01:08:00.000+08:00

thrice.a band that simply rocks.

2006-03-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

Jasmine and myself in...happier times

2006-03-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

how on earth did i appear like this

2006 - Deciding factor

2006-02-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

finally i end all my work days for this month.
no more going to work till the next month.

now i know what i've been missing out on and im real for now having been myself in skool and in class.

its more fun and im doing better now in what i wanna do.
being open yet conservative.
i dont take certain things seriously.
and im finally winning the battle of the evil one.
i know better now what is his thoughts and what God is telling me.

God thank you.
its been a good while since the time.
the time you know alone.
continue what You've been doing ok. thanks
ahaha

school's been much more fun and i nvr expected it to be so good.
been getting closer to more people and its just laughters, playing, riddling nowadays.
of course with skool work as well.

this year's goona be very very busy.
having some things to do taking most priority.

1) Professional Profiling
- 2000 word report.
2) FYP
- Results on project next week
3) Lent
- God works in ways i see it as mysterious.nvr knew He would provide someone out of the blue to actually do the letterings. God i praise you for that.
4) Passion Play
- In the production team. Will learn more from it i know.
5) O levels
- Gonna take the darn test and pass it once and for all.
6) GPA
- Goona improve my GPA to 3 at least with my last 2 semester's results.possible.
- I would have done a whole lot better, only for my attendance and refusal to submit RJ contributing to bad daily grades and total grade for module.
7) CE activity
- Need to accumulate 40 points.
- so far 4 points.

8) Australia
- Visiting Marc's and Fam

these 8 items are my highest priority for this year. need to do and complete them.im so exicited and its goona be done. nothing's and no one's stopping me. its goona be a heck on a year, with school, projects, work and church and social life

i got good news.
DHL offering schloarships for ISE students. =)
i got my specialization - Logistics Supply Chain Management. my ideal choice.

good year to all.
class ended.
i think goona get 2 Cs and 2 Cts for my module.
gotta run. bye.

norm...

2006-02-10T15:03:00.000+08:00

once again its another 7 for me.
3 years in a row getting 7
i cant fanthom where the problem lies.

im so used to it by now...
i now have to go on a real hard knock run of working hard.
something i know i can do and have the potential for.
i've done it before i just got to do it again.

i just dont understand.
it might be anywhere betweeen 1-5 marks.
1-5 marks.

i just dont get it.
not at all.
though its normal to be upset.
im not going to fall into it.

ill do what i know is right and move on.
it just doesnt make sense to me at all

no sense.
no sense.
no sense.
no sense.
no sense.

Red Sky - Thrice

2006-02-06T14:28:00.000+08:00

I know what lies beneath, I've seen the flash of teeth.
Conspiring with the reef to sink our ship.
The wind's a cheating wife, her tongue a thirsty knife.
And she could take your life with one good kiss.

Can you see the sky turn red?
As morning's light breaks over me,
Know tonight we'll make our bed at the bottom of the sea.
I know the ocean speaks, I've heard her call to me.

And smiling in my dreams she whispers this
(The stars retreat behind their veil. The clouds are clinging to your sail.
The storm is coming can you see?) Look and see the sky turn red.
Like blood it covers over me.
And soon the sea shall give up her dead.
We'll raise an empire from the bottom of the sea

2006-02-02T00:58:00.000+08:00

ok done.
new blog new meaning.

well the blog has some things i dont identify myself with, it was selected based on its design as well as its user friendliness when i was changing and adding things on the template..

new blog for the new year.
this's the second design, i had another one in mind but that was too long/ it was really nice what a waste.

working at night safari has never been better then all my previous employments.
happy new year to all =)

good dae and week to all =)

hmmm

2006-01-20T09:57:00.000+08:00

i'm listening to this music being played in my class..its from the PA system..
those that have no words and airport kind.
thinking abt that, i cannot wait for the day to come..
ill make it happen..
not gonna get bothered with what people say...
all i know is that im doing this and i know why im doing it, and it doesnt matter at all if anyone has a diff opinion..
once again, its ur opinion and ur opinion does not speak about me, bcos u obviously dont know me..
man, im beeing tested the past few days and as always i just pull it off..
its so easy to just go on and say whatever u want and rattle on and on, dont tell me u dont realise when's the limit?
come on, its ur own conscience.
doesn't it speak?
i was thinking abt u wanting to improve things with u...but i got a surprise indeed..
nvr ever in my wildest dream did i think u would actually say such things.
plsss for goodness sake, save all those comments, that u'll be with me always and stuff like that..
action complements words, and so far, it hasnt been that case.
so now, the truth's out and i know what's been on ur mind all along. so in that case, fufill what ur mind tells u and u dont have to tell me things anymmoreee...
u come to me, ill help./ obviously its not working, and to be fair, go look for someone else who'll fit ur criteria for listening and so on..
u know i had always been there, always, always.
so its good to know the truth that it didnt matter one bit to u.
the best advice i can give u, look for someone else.
not tat im closing the door to u, i will nvr do that to anyone
but its not helping u coming to me.
funny how some people forget everything and whatever they did, they ask it back..
im just dumbfounded on that..
all these while, still listening to the music, i know God's the only one, really.
cept for one or 2 more.
i rather go speak to adults honestly.
ive done what i can and its just getting nearer to my next option.
something im considering very carefully and seriously.
the option i know will fufill my desires and add a new dimension to my life.
its goona make me happy =)
not that i am not now, but the way it is going, there seems to be no more choice...
will speak to my superior when the time comes.

im leaving it in God's hands, and prob thats what He wants of me now.
pls dont go arnd talking abt me as IF you really do know me so well to others.
if its u, pls stop. you know who u are.
enough is enough i dont want people i dont know well coming asking things, and knowing things. all thanks to u.

i still love those that i know, and ive proven that.
i dont have anything to prove to anyone now.
God be with u. blest week to all =)

2006-01-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

well its back to bloggin, where i speak thru words//
well its been a not very good start to year 2006, but i know what i need to do and work on..

2005 has been an alrite year for me, did some things i wanted to for example Mission and Play and also the retreat were some highlights of the year for me..

2006 has more resolutions and im sure it'll be a better year for me..some things that im capable of doing was not done to the best of my abilities and thats one area i need to work on..

some things are on my mind and its a bit disturbing all because i choose not to respond to it in a way i know its not right..

im someone who has made and will contidue making sacrifices for things i belive in and on what i have done and will continue to do for others and it doesn't matter if a person doesn't appreciate it. reali it doesnt.. its even more more dissappointing to know and hear what some i THOUGHT were people i grow with are actually saying or planning to do things for me..

i mean come on, i know whats going on...

yes i smoke, so whats the big deal about it?
yea a deal cos i know it concerns my health..ever wondered why smokers continue smoking despite knowing it kills?

it seems to whoever it is that im a small boy who knows nothing of making decisions and i need someone to decide things for me??
there are people who know i smoke, yet they dont get angry or start plaaning talks and seminars for me, but rather be patient and not let smoking become part of our relationship so much so it affects the relationship...

if everyone is to do that, imagine me going to you and saying, i hate what u are doing, change it.

dont take me being quite and keeping cool always for granted. because i have a life and only if you realli knew my past, if you reali respected what has happened over these years, then smokin wont be the talking point.

its just not peaceful. imagine someone going to you and talking abt u to others saying and thinking this person needs decisons to be made by me and that im going to make those decisions for that person.. i mean come on..

so much so it becomes when u see me, the first thing that comes to your mind is that this guy's a smoker. so all these years, its been jsut like that..only if u knew how many times and time again, i forgave and forgave all those things u said and did..

think abt this..

nvr brought this up cos i forgave that pain to actually hear some peeps saying i dont know what my priorities are and dunno how to plan them...
what on earth gave u that impression??? of all the times i know what i do is right, just because i make one mistake in ur eyes, i dont know what my priorities are?

to even think that u dont really know me...

how true the saying...some only remember the bad points and thats probably the case la..

im not refering this just to one person, its a few actually...despite all these,i still mingle and carry on with the relationship...

some things i just cant say at all...seems only God can understand..

its hurts u know..darn big time..

i keep on forgiving and forgiving bcos i know thats what i shud do and i do that.
i do them, what abt u?

the next thing is, oh u shud go talk to charles abt smoking and da da da da da...and other things...

i've given in far too many times, too many times, just to not make things worse. do u see that im making an effort??

its not so much abt telling the person hey u need to change this and that, but hey does the conscience speak also to that person?

for sure it speaks, cos that's the voice of the Holy Spirit isnt it?

ive kept all these, all these and yet forgave...

sometimes its just a matter of time, before time shows everything. reali.

as i write these, some might talk abt it and have their own views, like but i care for him thats why i want him to quit.

then once again ur own view and point on it..
where's that understanding on what i've said?

pretty much useless then to write what i've just wrote and what i write on blogs or say...

upsetting.

im doing things to improve on things and work on them...if onli u see it...if onli..

period...

wooHooo... blink

2005-11-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

Well time has really passed by so quickly that I couldn’t even remember how it zoomed past me..haha well

Year has been pretty good, got to accomplish certain stuffs and looking forward to a peaceful, and loving year come next January.

The guys will be back today after 10 days at Payatas. I’m very sure and confident they had a fruitful experience and I can’t wait to hear their sharings and experiences =) All the kids they had met, time spent at the resident’s home and at Anawim, reflections, prayers teachings, cooking, mending the stall or farm and all the other things!

Missed their presence but it was for the good they went as they answered the call of the Lord to serve Him and His people. I bet all of them love children and the joy that is expressed in the children’s faces cannot be compared to anything else. Absolutely.

Talking about it, I miss the place too. I miss the kind of the life over there and its just cannot be compared to the kind of lifestyle here. I remember when I was there, I realized how busy I was in Singapore and taking time out over there, doing all the things there was just soooo fulfilling. I should have gone with the December group, but due to church act ivies, I pulled out. Also I didn’t adequately prepare myself, though I know I need to as I’m going back next year by hook or by crook.

Mission is for everyone and the need to understand it is important as it was given to us by Christ Himself, that’s why the Church is also a missionary. There are many understandings to what Mission means, those given by those with experience and those of those who think what it is. I learnt that Mission is not about building homes for them, giving money but rather to immerse oneself in their culture and do things with them. Like build things with them and cook with them, and so on. I was taught that and I truly believe in that.

All of them sure had a wonderful time and I’m waiting to hear from them and see them, for surely they have touched the lives of the people of Payatas and Anawim. See u guys tmr =))) I will learn from them as they can help me prepare for Base 2, when I go back next year.

Welcome back too Auntie Linda and Marc Gundusamy. I can’t wait for u both to come back and it’s a blessing from God that I got to know u guys. Looking forward to that, haha…see u guys at the airport =)

How great a week to have all of them back, marc and his mom and the group that went to the Philippines. Thank you Father for that =)

back to my bloggin days =)

2005-11-08T15:00:00.000+08:00

its quite upsetting..

well looks like its not going to be the same as before..
it doesnt even seem like before
you were on of the first..
not that u dont want to...

but i'm sorry, i dont know what happen..
wana let u know though we're frens, u mean much to me..
hard for me to let u know what i feell..
but may just not make sense anymore..

letme know why at least..
ill change it...
remember wat u said?
i still keep the msg..

not angry or upset with u..
upset with the situation...

dont please...
things are flying now...
i cant even grap hold of it...

i need to fill this vacuummm
before it get worse..
not worried..

had a good day in skool..

back off will u u evil one..
leave me alone...
u think i'll listen to u?
ur alreadi condemned,i dont even condemn u anymore and im not even asking anything from u
then why are u putting me in this confusion?
just bcos im weak as a human?

u'll never win me over, nvr ever...
im not a fool...
i know God's with me...
ill pass thru any obstacles.
and im not afraid of u..

not even in my dreams where u appeared before..
leave me alone//

i got a life to live..
and ill live it to the way i find fulfillment..
to what i know best and to the best i'll live..

im not angry with what ive blogged
hehe though i may sound like that, im not..hehe
anyway good and blessed week to all =)

Jill rawks my world!!!!!

2005-10-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

Hi guys....
wow it has been such a long time.
well i have bee pretty busy lately, bumming at Jill the great's house.
i have been at her beck and call!!
jill is the most understanding person i have ever known.
i wish i knew her earlier. oh wells at least i know her now.
Thank god for such a wonderful girl.

Sheila is just beyond words.
SHE RAWKS!!!

Aunti angie is like the coolest lady ever.
she lets me mess up her house.
but i get scolding all the time!!!

Thank god for these 3 wonderful and beauiful ladies.

2005-10-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

feels so good aft confession./
haha preety long time though...

man i dunno what to say...
but maybe things starting to get a little difficult..
i guess u dont understand how or what im feeling..
things are not like before..
quite striking considering that we're lile frens...

maybe u dont see it or feel perhaps what u said
is just a bit too much?
do u know its hard on me, taking into consideration everytime i think of it, it affects me much?

do u also know that just by keeping quiet doesn't mean i agree with u?
i mean im old enough to believe what i do or the decisions i make is something i know that suites me..
and i guess its time for some to realise that// once again im keeping quiet bcos, i just dont want to make things worse..

watever it is. i still care for u like i do for everyone else
and i just forgive..though it hurts much, i just let go, bcos thats what im supposed to do..
man, this is one thing that truly upsets me..
remember each has their opinions and wishes, and as far as i am concerned, i know what i do or decide is something i know i wont do rubbish again as i used to//
anyway other than that, i knoe Lord u watch after me, and its with u i cope thru it..
period//...........................................................................................................................................................

other than that. im fine and doing well, as i am nowadays..
school's back and back to skool am i.haha i dont wanna go though
a month's too short for students..howabt a year?
haha or things like summer, winter, autumn, spring breaks?
who said we dont have, the leaves change color thats proof!

haha well...well i guess thats all..
man time flies!! big time!! ok good and blessed week for all!
thanks for reading..feel free to pose comments ok?
hahaha gud dae!
make sure u wish me too! ciao =)
.........................................................................................................................................................................

ageess!!!

2005-09-08T18:42:00.000+08:00

hello im back once again to my poor little voice that speaks...
well well, i must say i miss bloggin!

hmmm, actually come to think abt it, my entries are always sad-filled!
haha but i just laugh at them now, more n more..

hmmm i wasted too much of my time and life brooding abt stuffs i used to, which was just so not right..

i have to say, Mission trip was the best trip i ever made to, and i look forward to going back..
i feel that everyone who goes there, comes back with a present..
reason being, spiritual life's goona grow to a whole lot new level, cos the Bible is goona play sucha big part, everyday..

and i just felt so light and FREE - yeah that's the word!
and like i mentioned about the gifts, Slyvester received a gift in believing God can perform miracles..
He prayed for this boy, who had a bad bad wound on his neck.. i saw it myself, will take months to heal..yeah that bad.
all He did was to pray, and in a matter of days, it was completely gone!

for me, it was happiness and freenessss.. i nvr felt so free and happy..infact aft Phil, i have been so happy and yea i do get upset at times with things, but im just able to lift up my head at that moment and smile =)

yeah, i just believe God will reward everone doing things for Him and His people... =))

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

things are abit rushy now, and i look forward to many things..

Lord, i just thank you for answering my prayers..
i'm a lot closer to people i nvr knew i'll be close to before i actually started praying abt it..

Recently, uncle Roy and Alan said things to me, which i really look deep into..im such a person, i dun look at things on the outsideee...

and i belive their words are those of God, and like Roy said, He didn't know what made him to just come talk to me abt it..and it happened at the same day =)

i dunnoo, but just fall into this abyss of freeness and enjoy it every moment..
//sure setbacks happens, but i just tell myself to look up, if possible to the sky and smile..and trust me, it really works big time for me..and im just glad, God is like a new dimension to me now, in the way i'm able to smile it off..

i know that came from the Phillippines..
will strongly encourage anyone to go for it..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sec 2 camp went well, kudos (congrats) to the stones for running it well without many probs and Lauretta for doing a good job in being in-charge of the camp..

i find that i can easily forgive even though sometimes im just so mad, but it just takes things like songs or a mere thought to bring me back to the senses..

looking forward to many more good times and fun-filled days! with those who mean lots to me, Lord you know what i mean...

okie thats all for now, the terror campaign has just started! im back! ahaha

backie!

2005-08-15T16:04:00.000+08:00

oh dear, its been ages since i last updated..

this one's the start of many more again!
toodles

2005-05-26T02:13:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: April 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity.
There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself.
You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator.

You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas.
Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed.
There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others.
Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

sucks.

2005-05-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

sucks = whats the darn meaning..
sucks
sucks
sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks
Sucks

sucks big baddy time..

2005-05-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

this has got to be one of the best pictures ever taken of us together... =)))

2005-05-12T14:37:00.000+08:00

hmmm, the hunk of all time! =p

fisherman'a friend...good for ur throat

2005-05-10T14:58:00.000+08:00

im stuck in class, not goona end that soon..
long time since i last updated..
ydae night was not very good..

i went back to what i used to do during night..
i turned the music on and listened to it..
best thing is that its all love songs..

did the same thing for 2 times in the past 3 nights..
then i smsed to ask for an opinion..
i think from now on, i won't be able to look straight in the face to you..
i remembered what i did to you sometime back..
and i regret it shit..

anywae, got work later..
sick of it..
but no choice..

then i'll come back late..
sleep..

then gd dae tmr, no class..
man this lesson is so calculative..
learnt things like variance and standard deviation..

learnt SD last sem, but forgot..
but i realised this..
microsoft came up with an excellent software in Ms Excel..
it does calculations and its so good and saves time..

cant wait for class to end, then i'm off to work..
gd dae to all..

i guess its time to know that its pretty over, i mean definitely over and its no point continuing, with what i have and feel for you.......

oh yea one more thing//

2005-05-08T15:19:00.000+08:00

this is dated sundae 8/5/05

oh yea..
bfore i forget..

i went to the Carmelite's Friars hse..
and my gosh, it was sucha nice place..
i felt odd at first, cos i know nobody..
but the brothers warmed up and spoke to me..

first had a prayer session at their prayer place..
gosh needless to say, a beautiful place..
it was quiet and peaceful..
had a beautiful Cruxific, not those kind found commonly,
but it was different, with bended ends and it was pretty big..
the wood was like real wood sculptured..

then they had a pulpit, made of bronze i think..
scupltured again, had a greeny color tint to it..
then like a small Altar table...

had comfy seats and a book holder by its side..
held books i think, like Bible..

then aft which we were divided and brought into groups..
had sharings and i tell you, i was impressed with this priest from Taiwan..
spoke so well and fluently and was so friendly..

then had dinner and a brother walked me out to show me where was the bus-stop..
he spoke to me a lot..
and i left being impressed..

honestly there is one thing for sure over there..
you could just feel the peace and most importantly Love..
and i left having taken something from it..
would like to go there again, but im not into the Carmelites..
the Diocesesan appeals more to me..
to get something clear, im not joining anything yet..
still searching...
but these places clearly inspires you to move and be a better person..

yup not forgetting our Stone and Father afirmation...
i dunno what was it, but i did not get reminded of my probs or such..
i just felt this strong wave of love going around the room, that just peirces ur heart and you can stop it, i couldnt stop it..
but it was very good and comforting..

will take more abt this when i next blog..
dun quite like blogging at skool..
need my bed and pillows, witha nice cuppa ice milo, then my fingers and heart and mind start speaking..

okok ciao!!

maybe...

2005-05-04T03:17:00.000+08:00

perhaps it just took that unfortunate event to erase everything..
i see my mistake now..

welcome...much to say

2005-05-04T03:16:00.000+08:00

i see, why the long delay for ur response..
i tot you did forget me and all..
but you did say something...
not that im feeling anything for you...
but im sure you had a great time...

tot of the time i hurt you...
and i want to say sorry once again...
nvr did i did it with the intention to hurt you or anyone...

tk gd care of yourself...
all the best in all that you do...
you can look to me for anything...

i'll tag my own tmr hopefully...
nite.

help's on the way =)

2005-04-28T01:48:00.000+08:00

hey// yeah you...wont mention ur name, just in case u dont want others to know...
do see him yea...this tough period will be soon over once u see him..
i hate that feeling too. sucks big time...

furthermore, i dont want you to go through this, cos it can hurt to the max...
so do see him, it'll be over once u see him =))

smile and stay happy always! =))))

nice poem...

2005-04-18T21:20:00.000+08:00

As i lay in this bed.
im praying to you.
To take me outta this world.
Which is makin me blue.

I cant take it nomore.
all this sorrow and pain.
Im so scared of tomorrow.
and im scared of today.

When will i do it.
when will i say goodbye.
When will i leave this pain.
and when will my spirit fly.

When will i be able to smile.
and walk with my head held high.
When will i be able to sleep.
without having to cry.

I cant take it no more.
God bring me home.
Down here im so scared.
and im all alone.

Well here i go.
this is my last goodbye.
Finally no pain.
And no more will i cry.

same pathetic once again///

2005-04-15T04:48:00.000+08:00

oh well, hmmm have been thinking a lot this past few weeks.
especially with the hols and all.
learnt a few things.

haiz, nvm.
i realised this that i've learnt one thing,
and that is the moment im free, with nothing to occupy myself,
my thoughts run crazy.
crazy...

it just shows another weakness in me.
i mean yeah i can do something to keep my mind of it,
i;ll do that.
but its still there, i mean as in its just buried slightly.
its not like its completely gone away or something.
so i dun see the point in just subsiding it and not eradicating it completely.
once and for all.
over and done with.
but i just cant seem to do it.
hell, its tough work.
its not pretty easy to anywae.
but im just glad that they are some arnd.
thanks Jill, Laurie for ur prayers and help.
and to others too.

i felt diff and things took a turn for the better,
and i bet its ur prayers.
so thank you very much.
=)

thanks.

hmmm have some other stuffs to say.
but ill save it for tmr.
sucks!
skool's starting!
shit,
im not even prepared!

but what to prepare also.
goona book basic theory lesson with some later.
neeed to slp.
nitez..

perhaps it aint to be.
aft realizing, its just not meant to be.
you deserve someone better.
nth else to say.
tk gd care in all that you do.
..............

argh.

2005-04-13T02:53:00.000+08:00

i just watched this show, titled I-robots..staring Will Smith.
he's sucha great actor isnt he?
anywaes

just got me thinking abt some things.
day aft tmr, what if another ice age happens?
i mean imagine the disater that it will bring,
lives will be lost,
i imagined losing a loved one,
man not a gd feeling.

i-robts, we're all goona live thru the future
i imagined the world being so technologically advanced,
that you have robots working for you.
worse still, behaving exactly like a human.
with thoughts, emotions and feelings.

to me, thats bad.
you just need a psycho, to mess things abit,
and the robts take control of the earth. of us.
yea may sound a bit stupid, but surely the idea of having a robot,
is not impossible rite, with the current technology and all.

suddenly Earth does not look home to us.
not original.
just not how it is supposed to be like.

for the record, some scientist might just be working on things that can simply change our lives and that of mother Earth right now.
just being concealed.

the world is so uncertain.
tmr newspaper's headlines will go running, one dead,
ten dead...clashes in Iraq, Israel, and so on.
will there ever be a day of peace.

i read somewhere, its up to each one of us to do something, so that tmr will be a better dae, not just for us, but for our children, grandchildren, etc.
it all starts will each one of us.

just like the church hymn, the world still needs to learn to love.
not that im a lover and all.
but, its true and its something the world needs to do.

in my understanding, to sum it all up, the world hangs in our hands.
what we do, Earth bears the brunt of it, be it good or bad.
man-made actions are destroying the hope of a peacful life we all hope to live.
rather not be catorgarised under man made actions = sufferings
but rather man-made actions = peace and something anyone and everyone can cling to, which gives them a reason and courage to keep hoping for.

i will just work to try and be a gd citizen.
my apologies to all that i have hurt
be it small or bad.
im sorry.

gd nitez..

2005-04-08T05:04:00.000+08:00

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

i had this mail from Christie, and i felt that it was a good sentence, makes sense.

i got no time, to add more, and i'll be back tmr with more entries.

good nitez,
bye to all,
bye Holy Father Pope

here is a prayer, you can join by saying this prayer. God bless =)

2005-04-08T05:00:00.000+08:00

A Prayer for Grieving the Loss of Pope John Paul II:

Our Father, Lord God,
Thank you for giving to the world John Paul II
as a holy image of your fatherhood
and a living example of Jesus Christ.
Thank you for giving to ME
this image of your fatherhood
and living example of Jesus Christ.

Holy Spirit, you are the Comforter;
Comfort me, and
comfort all the grieving everywhere.
Holy Spirit, you are the Power of God;
Guide all the decisions and discernment
that will take place over the next several days
to provide us with YOUR choice of a new pope.

Jesus Christ, you are the Savior
who takes the faithful home to the eternal embrace of love.
I give you my Holy Father, despite my sorrow.
Take John Paul II immediately to the heart of Father God,
and grant that he may now begin to intercede for me
and lift up my prayer requests
and the prayers of the whole world
as a Saint in heaven.
Grant now a special grace to John Paul II
for the achieving of all the prayers he made while on earth
that are as yet in need of being finished.
Thank you, My Lord God, for the plans you have
for the future of the Church
and the future of the whole world.
I trust in you
and your all-powerful goodness.

Amen.

Goodbye Holy Father..

2005-04-08T04:54:00.000+08:00

goodbye Pope John Paul.
Catholics arnd the world, will witness your final resting place today.
You have been a great Father to Catholics and non-Catholics alike.
communism was brought to its downfall, bcos of you.

You were the first Pope to do so many things.
setting your foot into a Mosque.
setting your foot into a Synagogue.

It does not surprise me to see the world already calling you Pope John Paul the Great.
A man, truly a man.
a great example for us to follow and learn from.

during your life, you went through so many sufferings.
the whole Church rested on ur hands.
suffered terribly from multiple illnesses.
went through an assasination.
3 shots.
in which the person couldnt believe you still managed to survive.

you were truly God chosed, going by the things you did.
Goodbye Father, into the arms of God.
your final destination-Heaven.
where a great reward awaits you.

i wont bet against you being canonised as a Saint soon.
a great man, you left a great legacy behind.
the world needed a person like you.
you fulfilled your duties honestly, and showed God to the nations.
truly a great man, you can never be replaced.

goodbye, our Vicar and Pontiff. =(

...

2005-04-01T03:30:00.000+08:00

oh well, its been 832932938 years since i last blogged. anyway just finished watching independent day not to long ago. the movie was, i dare say, fabulous cos....

period...

cos i was there! did u see me flying in to alien teritory and slamming their heads into the basketball net? ok thats a bit too drama.

rather, did you see me turning their heads summer sideways and sticking it straight up their candy asses?

No?

hmm a sign to you to get ur eyes checked..hehehe

anywae its been a good dae today. went to catch up with Jill, Laurie and Komali.(Dominic)
haha watched this show, wedding date, it was pretty good. hehe good movie to be part of ur day.

yea spent time together, b4 leaving for home.

hmmm i do not know what to say.
life's been a bit rocky and all.

days, months, years has passed.
i do not know if you still realise it.
or maybe things have just gotten on, as with time.

im one who like to you know, just think abt certain events, certain things that has happened b4.
the thoughts, feelings, emotions and everything.
sometimes i wish i could just turn back time, to make certain changes and
grab that oppurtunity.

but it didnt happen.

maybe it will happen again, maybe not.
i guess i still have it all in me still.

so near, yet so far.

will you ever gimme that chance again, or.....
anywae thats for my love life.

for others, maybe the time has come. i see it now. its time to do something abt it.
ive been going thru this pain for coming to a year alreadi.
and its not something that can just be ignored completely.

i've lost the ability to control my mind.
i cant control it.
it sucks.
big time.

its not as easy as it seems to just try to...
nvm.

but im coping quite fine with it, as hard as it seems.
im clinging on to this hope that i can look for help.
new things just keep adding up on this issue.

i know there are some who want to help, but i just hope you will understand why im not telling.
i dont want the same thing to happen to you.
if you happen to ponder abt it, lets say if i tell you, you might just end up like me.
it all started with me pondering abt it.

but hope is there, and so are the some of you. thats enough.

Father, i know i have dissappointed you, upteen times.
over and over again.
not making a serious effort in changing it.
now, i've realised.
its foolish and im a fool.
im making the effort.
and i know You are there.
always will be.
You're God.
im human.
weak and sinful.
i want to follow You.
You know that, i need not explain.
its hard, difficult.
i hope i do not fall again.
thats my fear.

fear Father, of many things.
fear of losing someone, something so precious.
among other things.

please Father, help them in their families.
it hurts to see them in this situation.
only you can mend the impossible.
....

Father, shape their families.
remove any harm and obstacle and walls of discontent, dislike and unforgiveness.
only You can do it Father.
Amen.

i believe this is the longest entry.
im sure all of you are snoring away.
with mucus flowing out ur nose.
haha.
sleep well and sleep tight.
gd nitez..

"no mountains to high for you to climb, all you have to do, is have some kind of faith"

continuation...

2005-03-10T00:53:00.000+08:00

im sorry for being so blunt
but honestly i didnt mean to be blunt when i was writting my blog
not at all.

i tried to write it the best way i could
seems thats the best way i could write it
though it might sound blunt
but honestly i didn't have the intention to write it in a blunt or a rude manner

back home aft work
had a gd time =)

all the customers were nice
and you know,
the working colleagues are like a family
we laugh and have fun

and we work together
guess that is important at any working outlet

i have a test later on in the day
i hope to pass it
and do well
i need to pass the module

also will be going to church aft skool tmr.
see u stones later.
ciao for now.
need my sleep.

nights. =)

last week...

2005-03-09T16:21:00.002+08:00

back to blogging
nothing much to say

this's the last week of school.
looks like im goona fail a module which no one ought to fail and a module no one can fail

but i hope i can pass, reason being i missed all four tests. and they take the best 3 grades out of the 4 tests.

and they are worth 40% of my overall grade.

good thing is that i have a off dae next sem.
which means i can re-take that module during that day.

i guess i got to say something abt what happened last sat....

school ended already, but im just killing time.
gotta work later.

the year has started not in the best way, as i dreamt it would be.
i mean i have tried certain things
but looks like it does warrant a belief in it

sorry but if anyone thinks that i have no clue on frenship is all about,
i do.

i'm asked why am i not telling stuffs, i mean if i don't tell, does that mean i dont care abt u?
see, im not telling basically because of the place or maybe there are others arnd.
catch me reflecting and i would tell.

i have told some abt whats going on, but see i can't tell certain stuffs.
why?
because i dont want you to get into what im going through.
dont understand?( can be contagious)

trust me, its better that way.
by the way only one person knows abt it.
so its not like im not telling anything to anyone.

think abt this, yes true i keep a lot to myself
but i hope u do understand how much i want to let it out.

if im not saying anything to u, does that mean i dont trust u at all??
i mean i just dont understand.

all along, from where i came from, i've been quite personal abt my stuffs and more importantly a strong fighter against any intrusion to privacy.

i've told some abt what's going on before, so its not that i dont wanna tell

understand this pls.
yes u can say that im very complicated.

well thats the way it is at the moment i guess.

by the way, im not using my blog to say what i want to sae.
surely this is just a little of what i really want to say
and i can tell directly to anyone.

Im sorry for being blunt if i am, but that's the best way to put it i guess.
all the best.
peace be with u

last week...

2005-03-09T16:21:00.001+08:00

...

2005-03-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

What a long day i had todae, but the best part was that i am neither tired nor exhausted.
wait....
doesn't both mean the same?
hahaha

nvm, went to school todae, got one more week, b4 term break! ahahaha
but i guess i gotta repeat a module next sem.

now in church, writting this.
time files so fast.

i do not know what to write.
hmmm..yea thats all i guess.
gonna watch harry porter once im home.

having to climb bukti timah hill tmr.haha
yea gonna be good for sure.

okie nights to all
till next time...charles

results out

2005-02-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

got my results...not gd, same as last's year.
was vey upset initially but grew out of it later.
whats the point of lamenting rite?

thx to all for all those comforting words.
meant alot to me.

and congrats to all!
you guys did very well!
i am glad for all of you!!
hehe! can sense the joy and happiness!

i got plans to do now, like what abt my studies.
oh gosh
nvr tot i'll get into this.

anywae all's fine i suppose.
i accept it in gd faith.

well thats all.

nights

gosh

2005-02-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

i have no idea what actually happened to my blog, i mean i did some stuffs, and it had like three pages of my blog messing up on each other...im sleepy and i have a test.i just need to add a tag-board now..

hi..

2005-02-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

heyz all, this will be my new blogie with immediate effect.
i screwed up the former one//

hehehe!!!

2005-02-25T15:44:00.000+08:00

first and foremost thank you so very much Sheila, for sorting out my blog! Also thanks to Ariel and some of classmate and a schoolmate for all your help!!

finally i can once again blog!
oh well, my first bloggie was totally screwed up by no other than its owner itself--> me!!

i'm sorry, but you have served me well...haha thank you!!

I've been having really two very good days in skool, ydae and todae. Ydae i had Enterprise Skills 2 and todae i had Engineering Maths.

For engin maths, i tell u i have difficulty, but i really enjoyed today's lesson!! it was fun, learnt about mean, median, mode, and SD--> standard deviation!

okie now guys if u wanna go buy a batt for ur phone, look for one which has the lowest SD, it is better. haha and for the first time, i passed the quiz, got 7.5 / 10...haha all's been pretty rosy at skool.

have the Lord to thank for, ever since i told Him to guide and lead me, He's been really helping me out. saw the difference in skool alreadi! suddenly my mind is like better at absorbing! but i still forget, cos i did not revise!! hahaha

thanks a million Lord!! =)))

well i have a test, a re-test at 4pm, todae..coming up pretty soon! so i beta go take a break. will be right back!!

happy Lent season to all..

hey also, my old bloggie addie http://vascocharles1985.blogspot.com is no longer in use! i've deleted it, so this addie's a revamp one and its my domain for now.

yup once again thanks Sheila and Ariel and all those who have helped me in this bloggie problem!

ciao for now!

2005-02-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

no probie xavier!!! muahahhahaa.. tis is ArIeL C. , hacking into xav's acc to try to help him solve da probs... so im testin testin if it works!